The Rose
by The Tomo
Summary: Just a simple one shot about Deidara feeling as though he is too much of a whore to ever be with Sasori.


AN: This is dedicated to my BomberBrat. I hope you know that I love you. Very, very much.

The Rose

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! If I did, I will ram a traffic cone up Naruto's ass. I hate that bitch.

I felt warm tears falling down my face as I sat up at the edge of the bed. Blonde hair cascaded down my body, and I was very thankful to the fact that is covered my tear stained face. My lips quivered and my body shook as cold air embraced me. I was no longer warm from the temporary 'happiness'. All that was on my mind was _him_; my forbidden fruit.

If only he could see me now… Oh how disgusted he would be with me. I could just imagine the painful words that would spill from his beautiful lips. I was like a chalice for his hate. I held it all in so well and never had let it spill. These days, however, the table I rest on is shaking, and the liquid of his emotions is ready to spill everywhere. Every time I close my eyes I see myself falling to the ground and letting go of everything. I don't want to spill… Who knows what would happen if I did? All the emotions I've been holding in for such a long time… The world isn't ready to face my inner being.

My breath hitched as I felt a cold hand touching my back. It wasn't him. It was just another worthless fuck. I kept my eyes forward and said nothing as my partner tried to act loving towards me. I wanted no part of it. All I wanted was my release. I just wanted to let out my frustrations. Every night for me is just so lonely I just need something to feel like I'm actually alive.

I feel like I'm dead. I feel like I'm in Hell. But Sasori no Danna reminds me that there is still something beautiful, even in eternal damnation. He is my golden light in a dark cave of solitude. But I am not worthy of his love. I don't think love is even really a word to him. He talks of love as though it's searing acid that burns into his tongue. Every time that subject comes to be, he spits his thoughts out as quickly as possible to get rid of the burning acid. He never has anything good to say about love. But I do know how scorned he truly is. Love for Danna really is like a curse. I've seen the pain he has gone through and it depresses me to my core.

I wish I could show Sasori that love is still beautiful. I wish he would let me love him completely. I want him to know that I will never give up hope, that I will always stand tall by his side. I want him to know that even if he hates me, I will be there for him. I want to protect him from the world's evils and make him see that mankind isn't completely doomed. If he could have faith in my love for him, I think he could have faith in his world.

I felt more tears escape my eyes and the cold hand grabbed my arm. I could feel him tugging at me, asking me nonverbally to come snuggle. I didn't want this man. He wasn't my joy. Like I said… Just another worthless fuck.

But that is why I'm too terrified to let my Danna know how I feel, even though I'm sure it's certain he knows something. I'm so afraid he'll see me as nothing more but a whore.

Because I feel as thought it's all I am.

A filthy whore.

I think Sasori no Danna wouldn't want to spend his time with someone he only sees as a mere sex object.

I snapped back into reality and heard the sound of my CD player blasting music. I sighed as the words of Dexter Holland haunted my mind.

'_If you could only read my mind  
You would know that I've been waiting  
So long  
For someone almost like you  
But with attitude, I'm waiting so come on_

Get out of clothes time  
Grow out those highlights  
Come around now can't you see

I want you  
In a vinyl suit  
I want you bad

Complicated  
X-rated  
I want you bad'

I felt like I wanted to die right there on the spot.

I picked up a shoe that was lying by itself on the floor. All alone just like me. I glowered at the CD player and chucked my shoe at the blue eye sore as hard as I could. The music came to an abrupt halt and strong arms pulled me down. I was now on my back looking into eyes that wanted me.

"Aw, Dei-chan, are you sad?" asked my nameless fling. "Do you want me to cheer you up? I can make you scream out all your frustration…" I watched as he winked at me as his hand traveled down to my groin. He tightly grabbed my flaccid cock and I made no reaction. This obviously displeased him. I could see in his look that it was now is mission to get me to be pleasured by him. I wanted none of it, though.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from my body. "Don't," I said sternly.

He was obviously shocked by my actions. I was usually ready to go, but not this time. "Why?" He asked, seeming rather dumbfounded.

"I'm tired of feeling like a cheap whore," I replied as I let his wrist go, somewhat throwing it at him. I sat back up and flung my hair behind my shoulders. "The person I love will never want me like this, un."

I gathered my partner's clothes and tossed them at him. "Get dressed, and get out," I told him as I slipped my boxers on. I watched as he was saddened, but he did as I wished. After he left I made my way to the shower to wash off my shame.

I stood beneath the stream of warm water, washing my chest with a cheap brand of typical smelling soap. It oddly pleased me when the smell of my soap stung my nostrils. I turned and let the water crash against my front side, watching the suds slither down my fair skinned body. I wish Sasori was here to share this shower with me.

Though not having him here telling me to wash off my whore stank was nice.

I'll never be good enough for you, Danna. I'll only bring you disappointment, and I'll never amount to what you think I am. I'm too terrified that I will never make you happy. I just want to love you… I just want to hold you through the night and watch stupid movies with you. I want to sing you songs, and play games with you. I want to lay around naked in bed with you all day, just talking. I want you to be mine, and I want you to call me yours…

But I'm just a whore.

I turned off the water and slid the curtain of the shower open. I reached for my towel and quickly dried my body. I then wrapped the towel around my waist and wandered out of the bathroom.

As I made my way to the kitchen I heard the front door open and close. There were few who felt comfortable to just enter my home with no warning.

"Hey Sasori, un," I said with a sad smile as I walked past him and continued to my kitchen. I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of juice. I didn't bother with a glass as I just opened it and took a couple swigs from it. I put it back, closed the fridge door and walked out into the living room where Sasori sat on the couch.

"Nice outfit, brat," he said as his eyes wandered over my body. I blushed slightly.

"I just got out of the shower," I replied as I took a seat next to him. "How are you, un?"

Sasori said nothing as he looked to me with those emotionless honey eyes. "Have you been crying, brat?"

I held my breath for a second as I thought about how I should answer his question. But before I could say anything he was already saying something. "Why do you smell like old stale sex?"

I blinked a couple times. Did I still smell like that? Damn… I knew I should have bought the five dollar soap instead of the three dollar.

I could feel the tears starting to swell in my eyes once more. There was no way in hell this man would want me. I'm nothing but a whore. Damn me! I just wanted to fill that empty void in my heart. As much as a tried, it all just drained back out. The only thing in the world that can fill the gaping hole is him… But I think I'll never have him.

"S-sasori?" I cautiously asked. "What do you think of me?"

My fate was sealed in his answer.

He said nothing.

Instead, he pulled something from his cloak and held it out to me. I looked down and in his hand rested a single red rose. I stared at the rose and felt myself crying like a little girl. I took the rose and looked up at him. He stood up and walked out of my house, and out of my life.

I broke down then and there, and didn't move from the couch for almost a day. I finally gained a tiny amount of composer and tacked the rose upside down on my bedroom wall. I left it there to dry out and to remind myself that I am like that rose… Once beautiful, but eventually dried out and falling apart.

–-

Years had past since that day. I still had the rose, and Sasori and I were still friends. We never talk about our feelings about each other. Those thoughts seemed too forbidden.

I waited for Sasori in my bedroom. He was coming over to spend some time wit me, as we haven't really spoke in over a month. Sasori used to come over often, but ever since that thorn covered day, he rarely stopped by. I was very glad to know he was on his way. It didn't feel like home without him.

I sat in my bed reading a book. I heard the front door open and close and the love of my life's foot steps came closer and closer to my bedroom. The door opened and I looked over to him. "It's such a mess in here, brat. Every heard of cleaning?"

I smiled. "Hi, Danna."

Sasori looked to me and made his way to my bed. He sat next to me and glanced dully to my book. I put it down and noticed that his eye caught onto something else. The rose that still hung on my wall.

"You still have that?" He asked.

"Of course, un… I-"

Before I could say anything else, he kissed me. Right there, under the rose he gave me years ago. I was in total shock. I prayed to the gods that this wasn't a dream.

Please tell me this is real.

I need to know.

-End-


End file.
